Guilt

Many people feel guilty about something. And most people, have, if fact, done something wrong. Is guilt the answer? For many people, fear of feeling guilty may prevent undesirable behavior. Here I will assume undesirable behavior can be defined from a social viewpoint. The general viewpoint I have is that of Erich Fromm, especially as expressed in Man For Himself. But for some, guilt can be paralyzing. Much of the harm of religion is in making people feel guilty for perfectly normal things. Sex for example. And this results in the exploitation of people through feeding their repressed desires on TV that is more perverted, even just on network TV, than anything they would think of on their own. But doctors are afraid to discuss sex with their patients. This sort of guilt is harmful. Guilt, by itself, is neither good nor bad. Guilt can be appropriate or inappropriate. Appropriate guilt prevents inappropriate behavior. Inappropriate guilt prevents appropriate behavior. And, as Freud discovered, the repressed desires can cause mental illness.

Misinterpretation of Humor [a cause of schizophrenia???]

Often, when someone feels guilty, or even just self conscious, about something, they give cues other people pick up on. The people may make jokes, possibly even just to let the person know they are O.K. But, because the person is self conscious, the jokes are not perceived as jokes. The are perceived as confirmations of whatever the person is afraid of. This reinforces the person’s guilt or self consciousness. The person may not be able to understand what can be wrong. Perhaps when they were younger, they did not shower often enough. They did not realize it, even though people may have hinted at it. Once they realized it, the hints, which had puzzled them, made sense. They may have started taking showers 5 times a day. But they are still self conscious, and people pick up on it from cues they give. Also, even when showering 5 times a day, they may not realize, say, the need to shampoo often. Also, I have found, it helps to take a bath a few times a week, as well as shower. And also to wash ones hand thoroughly, and clean under ones finger nails. Also, just wearing inappropriate clothing can result in the same sort of consequences. The people make jokes, possibly just to let the person know everything is O.K. But the person misinterprets the jokes. When jokes or other cues about this are given, but you cannot understand what is wrong [you’ve taken 5 showers today [but didn’t say shampoo – or maybe you did – but didn’t brush your teeth or use mouthwash – or wore the wrong sort of clothes]] – it drives you crazy!!!

Deliberate Cruelty

Also, in the case above, some people may realize what is happening, but deliberately make the jokes anyway out of cruelty.

Fear of Punishment

Often, people are afraid to even find out if something they feel guilty about is legal or illegal. As if to ask is incriminating. They may imagine some perfectly innocent thing they feel guilty about is criminal, and fear even to ask about it. Also I think maybe some punishments may be, in fact, way too severe. So that they are never enforced. But unenforced severe punishments are, at least for many, not punishment at all. It would be better to have modest punishments that were enforced, for at least the first several mistakes, than unenforced severe punishments.

Accepting Responsibility

Because the punishments are often too severe, people deny responsibility. And the mistakes continue. People do not learn this way.

Confidence

To err is human. Once you realize you are really O.K. [although imperfect], a new confidence comes. And a peace with your self and others.